Well, guys, I’ve managed to change my major as I was hopeful to do. Though my depression has still being kicking my ass, repeatedly I might add, this bit of good news put a smile on my face. It was much easier than I’d initially thought, and there will be no changes to my student loan status(thankfully, because it’s already through the roof on costs). All of the technology classes I’ve taken are going to be counted as electives, as well as the current statistics class I am in. I suppose that should make feel better, considering despite my efforts I’m doing terribly in it.
You all know I normally keep faith and religion out of my posts, as I am a firm believer in the fact that one must always respect another’s way of thinking. However, I must say that my faith is what has kept me going these last few months, more so in the last few weeks. No matter what you personally believe, I hope you all have something to cling to in trying times, and that despite differences you all help others when you can. My husband does not believe as I do, in fact he’s what you might call agnostic. You know, believes there’s “something” but not sure what it is…you’d think our household was chaotic, and filled with arguments. To a point it is, no one is perfect, we often disagree on many things, namely the fact that my daughter starts school next year. I’ve decided to give her a christian-based home/online school curriculum, as she does have a few learning disabilities and often “shuts down” when overwhelmed. To us, it is easier to do this, and by choosing the curriculum I have, I ensure she gets a good education(probably better than in a public school system). Her father and I agree with it equally, however my husband(her step-father) is having some doubts. I’ve assured him religious studies will be minimal and he’s accepted that. I suppose it will all work out, though.
I’ve also gotten about $600 in savings finally! That’s something I am extremely proud of myself for this, as I’ve never been able to do this before. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but to me I feel very accomplished. I’ve been writing my book, studying, and also trying to be a much better parent to my daughter, as I’ve not been spending as much time with her as I’d like to. She is growing up before my eyes, and I’d like to say I’ve been there as much as possible for her. As a parent, we all have fears and concerns, like we aren’t as good as we’d like to be. However, we are. We are good enough. As long as we love, and teach, and care for our children we are good enough!
Not only have I been doing things I never thought possible, and trying to ignore those pesky pessimistic feelings, I’ve also been learning more french in hopes that by this time next year I’ll be fluent enough to feel comfortable reading some novels in another language. If I have learned one thing through this annoying and pathetic little “quarter life crisis” of mine, it is this: We are in charge of our own happiness. As quoted by the great Lady Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one may make you feel inferior without your consent”